Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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