Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
