ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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