:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So much rum. So many feels.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
