vagina is talking i cant
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
