I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I could make wine with my vomit
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
