I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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