we have officially lost it.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
