Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
