her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
