: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I wish I only lived at night.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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