New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
