And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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