We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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