I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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