Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
