CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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