We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
