I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
