singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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