this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
