Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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