last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
