I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
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He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize