If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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