Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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