I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
