whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
