i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
