Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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