Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
