Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize