He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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