it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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