it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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