belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
