just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
