I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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