I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
