I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
