Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
