Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
