Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
