Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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