Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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