Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
