I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
