all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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