Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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