Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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