need another drink. this is the easiest way
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
