Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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