Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
