I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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