i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
