shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
