Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
