I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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