Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
