You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
