I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just cropdusted the office
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
