My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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