When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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